Maybe we should include "improving", along with saving of your personality. It’s difficult to make an overall statement when considering a personality because we don’t really have a way to measure it. When we say we have a personality it means that we look at all the little parts of our way of communicating with others. In addition, a personality is the sum total of all mannerisms a person possesses and uses in their everyday life. As you can see, this is a difficult entity to quantify. We never think that a person has "too much" personality, though there are people who definitely have too little, or not enough, personality. It really should be a question for the individual person to answer for themselves. Thus, we can make suggestions for the improvement of one’s personality, while it is up to the individual to make a judgment on whether or not to save that personality.

It is for each of us to determine the quality of our own personality. To do this we might judge the quality of our relationships with others. Do we attract others to us when we walk into the room? Do our co-workers smile easily at us and make eye contact? Do we get an overall feeling that most people like to have us around? If yes to these assessments then we probably possess personality traits that are, not only adequate, but also pleasing to others. On the other hand, if we can clear a room just by walking into it, or if people subtly fail to make eye contact, or if they find a way of avoiding talking to us, then there may be something missing from our personality; something that we might want to consider adding so that we, and they, will be more comfortable.

Adding personality traits is not easy. We are what we are, but we can change, and/or expand our repertoire of thoughts and actions to make life more palatable. If you have decided to improve your personality, here are some things to consider:

1. Start with an attitude towards wanting to improve yourself. All changes come from within; if you don’t believe in an idea, you cannot make it your own. One good way to make yourself more pleasing to someone else is to reverse your thoughts. That is, ask yourself what that other person would want, or like to see, coming from you. Or, if you were that other person, what would please you the most? Your ability to understand what the other person would see as comfortable dictates your success in this exercise. Start with a trusted friend or family member where, if you make a mistake, it will be easily dismissed. Be sure not to tell the other person beforehand what it is that you are trying to do. With practice you will develop the ability to understand others and you will be able to understand yourself.

2. Practice your approach to other people. Make eye contact and tell yourself that this person is worth knowing. A quick nod of your head, along with a genuine smile, will tell the other person that you like them as a person. This little sequence has a magical effect on other folks. They will be quick to respond in kind and you will have had a pleasant moment – and so will they. If you initiate the eye contact, nod, and smile, the other person will see you as a nice person, and you will have developed a great personality trait.

3. When appropriate, stick out your hand to greet the other person. Shake hands firmly while making eye contact. This gesture will make the other person feel that you have a good personality because you have singled them out to give them a warm greeting. A firm handshake has energy and this energy is transferred from person to person. We like to associate with high energy people because it makes us feel alive. Avoid the "dead fish" type of handshake. You know, the type of handshake that resembles grabbing a dead fish. This tells the other person that he or she does not want to shake your hand, and that the person has no life energy that they want to share with you. One dead fish handshake will cause people to run away from you because of an obvious bad attitude. So, keep the handshake grasp firm and meaningful so that the other person will know that you are someone with whom they would want to congregate.

4. Smile and laugh easily, but not inappropriately. If there is a good joke being told, wait until the punch line and then laugh without forcing it. A person who laughs while they are talking is viewed by others as moronic. Listen to the content of the message being spoken. If it is a serious subject then let your feelings show this. In all communications let honest emotions show that you understand the message. If you are the speaker, then be mindful of what you are trying to communicate, be it a joke, some serious information, or an amusing story. Your ability to communicate accurately to others, so that they have the opportunity to appropriately respond, marks you as having a good personality; you have made conversation easy and people tend to appreciate that. Recall a time when you met someone who spoke to you and who made it easy for you to understand and to communicate your honest feelings. You will probably recall that you thought of them as having a great personality.

5. Develop patience and understanding for everyone – if possible. Not everyone is easy to tolerate. Remember that your decision to improve your personality is not only your idea. Others may be trying to improve their communication skills too, so we must be willing to help out where we can – if we can. Our ability to tolerate the ineptitude of others (on occasion) is a wonderful personality trait to develop, and to practice. Patience, tolerance, and understanding in every encounter with others will be seen as a good personality. Once again, recall some instance in the past where you were trying to communicate something – and you were doing it badly – and the other person demonstrated patience and understanding towards you. There’s no doubt that, if they were practiced at this art, that you thought of them in the highest regard; you appreciated their tolerance in letting you make a mistake without punishing you for making it. We take such instances as learning episodes, and we laude our listeners, as we take a lesson from their great personalities.