It is always a daunting task to start one’s working years. Most of the time people start at about age twenty to work for a few decades, and then retire. Every generation does this so it is not a strange phenomenon. More recently, with the economy in such a shambles, a lot of people, young and old alike, find themselves with too much month left at the end of the paycheck. Most times, with a little common sense, a person can manipulate their circumstances so that they will end up financially even. However, common sense is the only thing these days that is not common. Too often the younger folks become bewildered when the bills come in and a large portion of them are running back to parents to bail them out. Occasionally the older folks, who have not prepared well for their retirement years, or have been side tracked by swindlers, find themselves in financial trouble. Sometimes it’s the kids who will help out their parents. Fundamentally, there is something wrong with the "picture". It seems that the families of today are mimicking the big businesses in this country, or, the nation bailing out nation debacle that is so prevalent now. If it was only a simple handout once in a great while – that was paid back with cash and gratitude – there would be no cause for alarm. Unfortunately, people have this strange notion that they are "owed" handouts from family, friends, and others. This is a slippery slope from which there is no return; it is a change in attitude that is needed, not another handout.

Basically, all people need to understand that, if you buy something, you must pay for it. If you don’t have the money, then you shouldn’t buy it. Too many times, however, people buy things on credit that are superfluous; things like adult toys (electronic junk, cell phones, games, etc.), frequent restaurant visits, vacations, and excessive vices (like smoking and drinking). Trying to make a paycheck stretch passed normal, necessary bill paying (like the mortgage, utility bills, transportation to work, groceries) can get us quickly into financial difficulty. Once the line is crossed from sensible spending to wasted money expenditures, it has become too easy to just pass the responsibility on to another person. Usually it is a friend or family member who has the cash because they are not wasteful and who have self-respect. Following are a few areas that too easily fall into the category of handouts.

1) College tuition. There are countless folks out there who have put themselves through school and college. They chose to go to school and they understood that it is their responsibility to pay for it. These are the people who deserve respect for their responsible attitude. Helping out kids with tuitions creates an atmosphere of irresponsibility; the kids think that they are entitled – they are not. College, and other forms of advanced schooling, are a privilege reserved for those who have the talent and intellect and who ought to be allowed to learn about the lessons that come later in life. Some of these lessons involve handling money.

2) Kids’ credit card debts. How did the debt accumulate? The key word here is irresponsibility. Kids who are just given things that they have not earned learn to expect that the "gravy train" will always be there – it won’t. A worse situation is when these kids are "helped out" by parents and others. The message is reinforced to the kids that it is okay to be irresponsible because mommy will appear to take care of the bad debt.

3) Foreclosures. It is generally accepted that when a borrower gets behind six months in payments, it is almost impossible to get out of debt. It is a mistake for parents to bail out kids who have incurred such debt, partly because parent’s resources will be strained and partly because the kids will just move on to more financial problems. It is better to let a foreclosure occur and let the kids learn to deal with reality instead of parents getting financially involved.

Helping out the kids is easy. Let them learn from mistakes; don’t (because you really can’t) bail them out. Teach them responsibility by saying "no" to financial involvement. The story of the fish tells it best: Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. If you give a man a fish he will come back tomorrow for another fish, and tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow. He will hate you because you have made him dependent and useless. If you teach a man to fish for himself he will love you all his days and he will sing your praises.