All of us say things now and then that we wish we could take back. In fact, if we could have a penny for every bad thing that we uttered in our lives, we would all be millionaires. To make things right we usually say, "Let bygones be bygones", and that, is that. Oh, if that could only be true! You see, there are more than a few factors that take place when a supposed slight occurs. Most of these factors are people. For example, let’s say that there’s a Christmas party at the office and there’s a good bit of drinking. Someone says something that is inappropriate and tempers flare. The context is a party, a happy time. The excessive drinker doesn’t see anything wrong with his or her behavior; he or she is having a good time, and he or she is oblivious to their outburst. The offended person, or persons, is/are appalled by the outburst; they are the "victims" and they may feel insulted or hurt. The next day, when everyone has cooled down, all involved may feel a little embarrassed by the events at the party and everyone is willing to "let bygones be bygones" so that everyone can get back to normal. Is everything okay? Maybe not.

It is impossible to know what is going on in another person’s mind. Some people harbor resentment forever, others forget instantly. In a group of people there are probably many different thoughts on forgetting about events at the office party. In some instances the offending person’s antics will be remembered forever and he or she will never be able to live down the event. For all future gatherings everyone will go to the party expecting the same events to occur, sometimes they will and sometimes they won’t, but expectations have been established in everyone’s mind. For others, who choose to forget indiscretions as soon as they occur, every party is a new occurrence to be enjoyed; no expectations to be relived. Between these two extremes exists a myriad amount of possible outcomes.

The best way to handle situations is one at a time, each situation is unique. However, having a good memory for potentially difficult times is wise indeed. For example, if the drinker from the first party also brandished a gun and started shooting at the ceiling resembling a drunken cowboy in a western movie, then it would be very wise to reconsider going to a party at which you would expect this person to attend. Safety comes first. Can we forgive such foolish behavior? Sure, we can let it be a bygone, but we would surely want to take precautions at the next occasion. Do not invite a person who acts this way. Tell him or her the reasons that they are not being invited, and suggest to them that they seek help to improve their social behavior. If, on the other hand, a discretion is minor, maybe an inappropriate gesture or word, then forgetting the event as soon as it occurs is probably the best way to let it be a bygone. Any time that we can let a bygone be a bygone (unless there is a serious safety issue) it is wise to do so.