During the holiday season it is common to see high stress in people. The closer it gets to the actual holiday, the more the stress can build and the more the people can show symptoms of irrational behavior. Sometimes it is unsettling to see familiar people, like family and friends, change their normal habits and behavior in subtle and not so subtle ways. Tempers can flare up over any number of minor things and personalities can change so much that people seem to morph into another dimension. When these things happen to normal people, relationships can be strained to the proverbial limit. Family members can take on the look of previously unknown entities. Oddly, the same things can happen year after year, even though we thought that last year’s transformations would have taught us something – like, I’ll never do that again! Well, here are some strategies that may help us work through this year’s stresses and strains and, who knows, maybe we will learn something that can permanently make improvements in our lives throughout the whole year.

1) Expect the unexpected. Realize that the holidays are stressful for most people. Not everyone handles stress very well and some folks can act out in unexpected ways.

2) Write things down. At the end of a stressful day, write down in a journal the events that occurred. Keep this journal for your eyes only. Every time a stressful day occurs, record the events in as much detail as possible so that you can review them at a later time. Over a period of time you will see patterns emerging that can give you a "heads up" as to when you might expect a change in people – yourself included.

3) Hold your temper. There is an old saying that states: "Keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them later". This is good advice. When you state something to another person in stressful times remember that both of you are probably feeling the pressures of the moment. When we speak harshly to other people we do irreparable damage; you can’t unspeak what was said. Choose your words as carefully as possible and think about how you will feel a few hours later after the small crisis is over. Will you feel the same when the crisis has passed? If the other person spoke those words to you, how would you feel?

4) Is the other person right, or are you right? Who cares! Right and wrong are not important. In the moment everybody thinks that they are right and so they press the issue trying to convince the other person that their idea of the situation should prevail. The important thing is to realize that both people feel stress or pressure of some kind and that both people ought to work together to diminish the pressure that they feel to end the conflict.

5) Help the other guy. When stress pops up in front of you, think of helping to solve the problem, not in defending yourself. Attack invites defense but, if you can react to the "attack" by trying to understand what is happening, then you divert the perceived affront to a workable place where both people can work together on getting rid of the pressure that both may feel.